Jamie Dimon, the current chairman, president, and chief executive officer of JPMorgan, is on Capitol Hill today giving his excuses for the recent JPMorgan meltdown to our do-nothing 112th Congress. This is, I remind you, the same Congress that fought to weaken the Dodd-Frank Act, and blankly refused any other protective measures for our economy after the enormous worldwide financial catastrophe caused by Republicans in 2008.
Charles P. Pierce with a translation of Dimon’s testimony today:
Translation from the original Ass-Coverish:
1) The people who worked for me didn't know what they were doing.
2) The people who worked for me didn't know what to do when things went bad because they didn't know what they were doing in the first place.
3) The people who worked for me didn't know how to manage the things that went bad because they didn't know what they were doing in the first place.
4) We were replacing some of the people who didn't know what they were doing in the first place with some new people who didn't know what they were doing in the first place, either.
And, 5) Jesus Christ On My Private Jet, I hired me some meatheads.




















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